One member shares his experience, strength and hope about recovery from alcoholism through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. The ideas and opinions expressed in this blog are in no way intended to represent those of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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Peculiar Mental Twists
The BB says "bottles were only a symbol." I didn't become an alcoholic because I drank too much booze, I drank because I have a disease that manifests in "peculiar metal twists." This "stinking thinking" caused (causes) me emotional, spiritual and physical pain. Drinking was my solution to escape the pain. And it worked for a while until it got to the point that once I started I couldn't stop.
When I was new and people talked about things like Steps and carrying the message and Traditions, I really didn't really connect. But when you people talked about feelings of inadequacy, confusion, resentment and anger, frustration, fear and emptiness (oh yes, emptiness). I immediately identified. Only then could I listen for the solution.
These "peculiar mental twists" caused me much pain when I was growing up and still do today, but I have no regrets. I firmly believe that God made me an alcoholic so I could find my way back to Him through Alcoholics Anonymous.