My recovery is a miracle because I'm a completely different person than I was when I walked through the doors to my first meeting. My whole attitude and outlook has changed. Today I see the glass half full instead of half empty. I have a full range of emotions, not just fear expressed as anger. The little red veins on the side of my nose have disappeared and the 20 extra pounds of alcoholic bloat I was carrying is gone. Today when I talk to others, I look them in the eyes instead of looking down at my shoes. Today instead of retreating into self-centered isolation, I let others know what's going on with me. I have learned to laugh at myself. My life feels useful and contented. I am happy most of the time.
I never want to forget what it was like before the miracle happened. I keep it green by sharing my drinking experiences freely. My drunk-a-log might be different than yours, but our feelings of fear, self-hate and bewilderment are exactly the same. I was taught that if I want a newcomer to identify with me, I must talk about my drinking and how I was willing to go to any length to change the way I felt, in spite of the potential consequences.