Me-go Amigo

When I was new my first sponsor used to irritate the hell out of me with the expression, "sounds like you are right on schedule." I'd be whining about one thing or another -- no job, no girlfriend, no money -- and he'd say, "sounds like you are right on schedule." I pretended to know what he meant, but I hadn't a clue. Was there some kind of secret AA schedule no one told me about? Today I know what he meant. At every moment of my life, through every single experience, I have been in the exact right place for my highest and best good.

Ego has been along for the ride the whole time. Sometimes ego drives the bus. Sometimes it sits shotgun and gives directions. It's ego when I react defensively to criticism. If you say something I don't like, it's ego that replays the scene over and over again. It's ego when I say the words, "you should" in conversation.  But it's also ego that motivates me to reach up ambitiously to be a fuller expression of the life force within -- ego drives me to be all I can be.

It's ego to believe there is something I can do to "right-size" myself.  That's God's job.  I can't make myself more spiritual because I am already 100% spirit. I just don't realize it yet. I can get to a meeting and share, pray and reach out to a newcomer and I might feel better, but I haven't grown one ounce in humility. Perhaps humility happens when I fully embrace my ego instead of fighting against it.  I haven't done so yet, but I'm right on schedule.