Good Orderly Direction

I’m coming to believe my HP is bombarding me with nonstop directions about how to live a loving and fulfilling life. When my mind is noisy I don’t hear the directions nor do I always follow the directions I receive. But when I take the actions that put me in the center of Alcoholics Anonymous, the HP’s voice comes through loud and clear.

God speaks to me primarily through other people. Virtually every person in my life has been put there to help me grow if I’m only willing to listen and learn. Like it says in our book, I had to get pretty close to death before I became willing to listen. The first voice I paid any attention to was my sponsor, because I sensed he had my genuine best interest at heart. I listen to the old-timers in the rooms because they have what I want—peace of mind. The hardest people for me to learn from are the ones that push my buttons. I still don’t like it when somebody touches an unhealed place inside of me. When I awake, it's like every person in my life carries a sign. Some signs, like the ones my close sobriety buddies carry say, “go this way, follow me.” Others, like the sign my alcoholic father carried, said “don’t follow me or you’ll be sorry.” Today I am better reading the signs than ever before.

God also directs me through well-placed “aha” moments. Out of the blue I realize I am changing.for the better. My first aha moment in recovery was when I realized that the obsession to drink had been lifted clean out of me. I have  frequent aha moments when I read the Big Book and other spiritual literature. Words and phrases literally jump off the page at me with new meaning. I had a major aha moment when I was care-taking my wife before she died. I suddenly realized that there was no way I could be doing what I was doing. It became clear God was doing for me what I could never hope to do for myself. I liken these little aha moments to a trail of white pebbles leading out of the dark forest of alcoholism. Just as I begin to lose my way I spot another little white pebble on the path ahead. Another God shot that reassures me I’m heading in the right direction.

I liken my intuition to a cosmic radio receiver. When I am honest, open-minded, and am actively demonstrating my willingness, the directions come in loud and clear. I see solutions to problems I had never seen before. When I am selfish, dishonest and resentful, I am blocked off from the sunlight of the spirit, I am forced to react rather than respond to life’s challenges.

The disciples asked the guru, “Master, tell us how to live a spiritual life.” The guru simply smiled and said, “if you are hungry, eat; if you are tired, sleep.” Can life really be this simple? I think it can as long as I continue to show up, pay attention, do the next indicated thing, and stay out of results.