In some ways, my recovery means the same things to me that drinking did: release from care, boredom and worry; intimacy with friends and the feeling that life is good. But my drinking experiences, while pleasant at times, were nothing but illusions. Pipe dreams that evaporated shortly after the bottle was empty. Now that I am no longer running away from life, I suit up and show up and face whatever the day has in store for me. I am graced each day with the strength to live my life the way it is, not the way I’d like it to be. God, as I misunderstand God, makes this possible. I met this God in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and our relationship has been growing ever since. My recovery today means I have a God in my life I can do business with.
When I was new I identified with the part in the big book about God being my new employer. Relating to God as my employer makes sense to me. I do my part as a loyal and faithful employee. God, a gentle and understanding boss, provides everything I need, not only to survive, but to thrive. My job is simply to show up each day and do the footwork. God takes care of the results and I enjoy outcomes better than anything I could imagine. We communicate freely with each other. The door to his huge corner office is open to me, 24 and 7. When I am willing to withdraw from the world for a few moments in silence, God provides the intuition I need to handle anything life throws at me.
I know much less about God today than I did when we first met, but I am more grateful for my job than ever. I enjoy lifetime employment, fabulous benefits, and work that I love. In God’s employment I live a real life, not a facsimile. I go through each day with peace of mind that comes from knowing I am exactly where I’m supposed to be, doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. It's simply a great way to live.