One day at a time for me is about staying present and realizing that today is all I have. This is not always easy. While I seem to have made peace with my past, my mind occasionally drags me into the fearful future where it focuses on all that can go wrong. It reminds me death is approaching, but before death what? What if I can't get around? What if I run out of money? Who will look after me when I’m no longer able? When I’m living in the fearful future I miss the beauty and joy of the present moment. Fortunately, I no longer trip into the future very often and when I do I don’t stay very long.
I believe the ability to live in today is due to the habit of sobriety I developed in my first 90 days. I continue to take the same actions today that I did when I was new. I go to a meeting almost every day. I call other alcoholics and answer the phone when it rings. I practice 12 step principles to the best of my ability. I try to stay fit in body, mind and spirit. I don’t do any of this perfectly but I do it consistently. I did not develop the habit of sobriety because I was afraid of drinking. I kept coming back because for the first time in my life it felt like I fit in. I got a kick out of the meetings and connected with the other wacky alcoholics in the rooms. Slowly my life began to change. I was drawn into the spiritual mystery. I keep coming back for the same reasons today.
The habit of sobriety produced a faith in me that works in all conditions. Faith gives me the courage to walk through the dark times without picking up a drink. Faith loosens my grip on the steering wheel and I’m better able to allow my life to unfold naturally. Faith gives me the calm assurance that everything is happening exactly as it is supposed to despite what my mind tries to tell me. This gift of faith makes it possible for me to live one day at a time and let the future take care of itself.