Journey to Faith

I always believed in God. I went to church on Christmas and Easter and I even prayed from time to time when the you-know-what was hitting the fan. I prayed for money, jobs, girlfriends.  I prayed the pregnancy test would be negative. I always prayed God would come down from heaven and fix things for me. I never thought to ask God to fix me -- to change me in any way. After all, I was a pretty good guy. Why would I want to change?

My belief in God did not stop alcoholism from slowly but surely robbing me of everything worthwhile in life. I lost friends, interest in challenging work, creativity, and, finally, all enthusiasm for life itself. After years of suffering, I was graced with a moment of clarity and found myself in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous staring up at the Steps on the wall.

My faith began to blossom when, after thirty years of daily drinking, the obsession was lifted clean out of me at my first meeting. How the hell did this happen? Since I couldn't answer this question with my logical mind, I eventually decided it must be God. I was drawn into the spiritual mystery. I kept coming back. Slowly I began to see God in every detail of life.

Since then I've walked through many painful life experiences without picking up a drink. Each time I get to the other end, I am stronger and my faith has grown.  Faith allows me to trust that the universe has my best interest at heart. Faith gives me the courage to walk through fear and live my life fully. Faith assures me that regardless of how dark it seems, the sun is shining behind the clouds. What began as a wishy-washy belief in God, grew slowly into solid faith -- a faith that works for me regardless of what’s going on in the world.