I have enjoyed an attitude of gratitude for a while now. I catch myself feeling grateful many times throughout my day. Most of the rough edges of my life seem to be smoothed out. Painful experiences are not quite as painful, and the joyous experiences are more joyful. My perception has changed. Today I see the glass half full instead of half empty. An attitude of gratitude makes it virtually impossible for me to pick up a drink. Why would I kill myself if I am feeling optimistic? It makes no sense at all.
It took every single experience to bring me to the place I am in this moment—the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. I appreciate how good my life is today, but I’m also grateful for all the pain and suffering it took to get me here. I’m grateful for the job losses, the relationship hurts, the financial fear, the drunk driving arrests, the disappointments, and for all the times I beat myself with the whip of self-hate. I could not have made it with one less of anything. Certainly not one less drink. No experience is wasted in God’s world.
My life is nothing I do and everything God does. I practice an attitude of gratitude by slowly letting go of my attachment to getting what I want, by suiting up and showing up for life and by trying to be helpful where ever I can. I show appreciation for others in my life. I try not to complain. The willingness to do these things doesn’t come from me. It’s all grace.
I’m grateful to be alcoholic. There is no way I could have traveled from where I was twenty-four years ago to where I am today without having a disease that was going to kill me unless I treated it spiritually.