God, as I misunderstand God, revealed itself to me for the first time on the first day of my recovery and God has been revealing more and more of itself to me ever since. I have no idea who or what God is, but I am absolutely convinced there is a loving power guiding my life to perfect balance, harmony and order as long as I do my part.
My first realization of God was on the day I signed up for outpatient treatment. That evening I realized I hadn’t thought about a drink all day. And I didn’t think about a drink the next day either or the day after that. I was struck sober. Before my first meeting, before I got a sponsor and before I worked any step, the thirty year desire to change the way I felt with alcohol and drugs was lifted clean out of me. I didn’t know it was God then, but today I absolutely believe that God does for me what I can not do for myself.
Today, I see glimpses of God everywhere I look: In the eyes of little children, in the beauty and destruction of nature and especially in the intuition that shows me the way out of every painful experience without picking up a drink. When I’m paying attention, I feel the presence of God in every meeting I attend.
God continues to become real for me as let go of my opinions of how life should be and do the next indicated thing. My job is and practice honesty, open-mindedness and willingness to the best of my ability. Today I enjoy a faith that works in all conditions.
More is constantly being revealed to me. A few years ago I realized that my alcoholism is a gift from a loving God. There is no way I could’ve traveled from where I was 25 years ago to where I am today without having a disease that was going to kill me unless I treated it spiritually.