I don't know who or what God is, but I do know that I was changed in a profound way at the very beginning of my journey in recovery and that I've continued to be changed -- sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly-- throughout my time in Alcoholics Anonymous.
The desire to drink was completely lifted out of me on the day I signed up for treatment. Before my first meeting, before getting a sponsor and before working any steps, I was freed from the obsession that had held me captive for thirty years. I was getting ready for bed that night when I realized I hadn’t thought about a drink all day. I wondered what the hell had happened. I didn't realize it at the time, but today I know Spirit had awoken in me and was doing for me what I could not do for myself.
I floated into my first meeting on a pink cloud. My outside circumstances hadn’t changed -- I was still unemployed and running out of borrowed money-- but something was going on inside me that I didn’t understand. I felt downright blissful. I laughed, really laughed for the first time in years. I had the sense that I had finally found my way home after a long painful journey. Like any good alcoholic I wanted more. I wanted to keep this great feeling alive. There was something happening in the rooms that I wanted. You pointed to the steps on the wall.
I wanted what you had so I did what you did: meetings, steps. service. AA became a way of life for me and the Twelve Promises began to come true. Of all the promises, I continue to be most amazed by "you will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle you." Today I have absolute faith that I'll be shown the way out of any "problem" that pops up in my life. Why would I drink?
I look at my alcoholism as a blessing. I could not have travelled from where I was to where I am today without having a disease that could only be treated with spiritual grace.