It's All Grace

If nothing happens in God’s world by accident, then every single experience is meant for my highest and best good. The so-call good experiences and the so-called bad experiences are all grace - undeserved gifts designed to help me grow into full expression of my true nature which I believe is divine love.

I look at my alcoholism as a blessing. I could not have traveled from where I was twenty-one years ago to where I am today without having a disease that was going to kill me unless I treated it spiritually. My alcoholism turned out to be my ticket out of bondage of self into a life of beauty and meaning.

Last week I ran into a newcomer at a meeting I hadn’t seen for a few months. The last time I saw him he had just had his second drunk driving arrest and his attorney suggested he attend AA meetings to look good when he went in front of the judge. I caught up with him after the meeting and asked him how it was going. He said he had his day in court and was sentenced to a year and a half of AA meetings. He was happy he was having a Breathalyzer installed on his car so he didn’t have to ride his bicycle everywhere.  I asked if he had a sponsor yet. He said no. In fact, he was taking “a few drinks now and then and was doing OK.” I said that maybe he wasn’t alcoholic and suggested he try the controlled drinking experiment described in our book. He seemed interested so I outlined the procedure. He said, “Yeah, I probably should try that.” I said, “I hope you convince yourself that you are an alcoholic.” He looked at me kind of funny. Like me, there is no way Matt could possibly imagine that alcoholism could be a good thing. 

My wife fully understood when I told her I felt my alcoholism was a blessing. She said she felt the same way about her cancer. She shared that every time the cancer recurred she drew closer to her beloved Jesus. She shared she felt guilty because after she fully recovered from her surgery she slipped slowly backward into a life of materialism. I am so grateful there is no cure for the disease of alcoholism. I can’t imagine life as a normie.

I am grateful to be an alcoholic. I pray that all the Matts in the world receive the gift of desperation, the gift of clarity and the gift of willingness so they can experience the wonder and excitement of recovery like I have.