Eleventh Step

Will C. was the most humble man I’ve ever known. He loved Alcoholics Anonymous and he loved alcoholics, especially newcomers. His eyes lit up when he heard it was my very first meeting. Will rarely shared but his gentle demeanor spoke volumes. When Will shared he always ended with “I came for my drinking, but I stayed for my thinking.”

I believe God wants me to be happy, joyous and free, just like it says in our book. I’ve found this beautiful life  impossible for me as long as fearful, angry thoughts spin around in my head. I practice the Eleventh Step, not so much to figure out God’s will for me, but to quiet the disturbance in my mind.

Prayer and meditation dissolve negative thought energy and open up my channel to God. With peace of mind restored, I can do the next indicated thing and let go of results. Life is sweet when I don’t feel the need to try and control the outcome of my actions. When I can finally let go.

The centerpiece of my Eleventh Step practice is hiking alone on my sacred mountain near my home. It’s really more of a hill than a mountain, but I feel more connected, more serene, there than anywhere else. My senses come alive: I hear my heart pounding  the air feels fresher, the sky bluer and the sunshine brighter. I take my fear, anger and worry up to the top of the hill and leave it there.