I took the first few faltering steps on the bridge back to life when I
walked into my first meeting and introduced myself as a newcomer. I
laughed, really laughed for the first time in years. I couldn't put my
finger on exactly what it was, but I sensed there was some kind of magic
going on in the meeting rooms. I wanted what you had so I got myself a
great sponsor and started in on the steps. When my home group elected me
doughnut guy it felt like I'd just been awarded the Nobel Prize.
My reconnection with life began in earnest when I shared my fifth
step with my sponsor. It was the first time I had been totally honest
with anyone in 47 years! More imaginary barriers fell away when I
cleaned up much of the guilt and shame from my past by taking Steps
Eight and Nine. I began to look people in the eye instead of down at
their feet.
As my insides began to change, my outsides changed too. After more
than a year on the sidelines, I became gainfully employed. A new
girlfriend showed up to help me grow. I fell into a comfortable routine
of work, romance and meetings. Apparently HP understands that the
comfort zone is the absolute worst place for an alcoholic like me. So he
sent me an alcoholic to share with and my recovery jumped to a whole
new level.
Through the years I've had the honor and privilege of working with a
number of men, especially here in China. I have come to realize I've
been given a gift of great value -- my own experience. I share it freely
with anyone who asks (and often with some who don't. Grinning.) The
time I spend one-on-one with other alcoholics pays off like a Las Vegas
slot machine, not in silver dollars, but in a shiny life that feels more
useful and contented as the years roll by.