Life Changing

I'm coming to believe that my life experience today is a direct result of my thoughts yesterday. It is absolutely impossible for me to have a life that is happy, joyous and free, if I am entertaining thoughts of worry, resentment and fear. When I was still practicing, one of my favorite expressions was "life is a sh*t sandwich and it's always lunch time." This kind of negative thinking became ingrained in me -- self perpetuating. It's no wonder that I had a life that was mostly negative.

Like any bad habit, it's taken some time to reverse some of this negative thinking. This is work that I would not have even attempted while still drinking. But now that I've been able to see a little progress in the form of a better life experience, I'm enthusiastic about wanting more.

All of this has come as a direct result of increased contact with my Higher Power. The Steps and the Program of AA has made this increased contact possible. Mostly I feel my insides are cleaner today. I'm not carrying around so much guilt and shame, thus I'm not dogged by the constant feeling that something bad is going to happen. I feel lighter.

The AA suggestion of being of service is one that is serving me well. If I am truly a channel for God's Peace, Love, etc then the channel has to go somewhere. It doesn't end in me. My prayers for opportunities to be of service are being answered both in and out of the rooms. When my focus is on what I can give rather than what I think I need, my life just naturally seems to be better.