"The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others."
This line in the BB described me to a tee. I was so caught up in me that I was totally insensitive to you. I stepped on your toes, belittled you (just being "cute" you know), and used you to get my needs met. And I didn't even realize I was doing it unless you brought it to my attention, then I would argue with you. "I didn't mean to.." If I finally apologized, it was to get you off my back or to get me out of hot water.
As a few layers have come off the onion, I am a little more in tune to the fact that there are other people on the earth besides me, but admitting that I am wrong is still not one of my strong suits. But I do it (albeit sometimes not "promptly") because I believe that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous works IF you work it.
I'm pretty much convinced that my life is a result of the thoughts I think. If I'm carrying around a lot of negative thoughts, then my actions will be negative and I'll create more wreckage. So the challenge for me today with Step 10 is to pay attention to what I'm thinking. And I can find out what I'm thinking if I listen to what I'm saying.
If I can stay away from the three C's: Complaining, Criticizing and Condemning then a better life is possible for me.