When I was drinking I did the same things over and over again
expecting different results, but the results never changed. I got
drunk and said and did stupid things. As a newcomer in Alcoholics
Anonymous, I did what the happy-looking people in the room did: I went
to a lot of meetings, continuously worked the steps, and took service
positions. The obsession to drink was removed and my life began to get
better.
I wasn't satisfied. I wanted my life to get great. So I continued to
do the same things over and over again, meetings, steps, service,
expecting my life to continue to get better and better. I expected
that as long as I was committed to my AA program I could avoid the
painful stuff. Wrong! Life got good for a while and then the
you-know-what hit the fan. I lost jobs, faced health issues, endured
financial disasters. I'm learning that life is a wonderful, awful mix.
Life on life's terms does not always feel good, but it always feels
real.
Today I continue to do the same things over and over again: meetings,
steps, service, but I no longer go to Alcoholics Anonymous because I'm
worried about drinking or for the good it might bring me. I go because
I enjoy it. AA does not promise unending bliss or spiritual light
shows, but it does promise a useful and contented life. By doing the
same things over and over again: meetings, steps, service, this
promise has come true for me.