Years ago I remember seeing an interview of George McGovern by Barbara Walters. McGovern was a former presidential candidate. He had five beautiful daughters. One had our disease. Despite numerous treatment centers and attempts at sobriety, she passed out drunk in the snow and froze to death. McGovern had tears in his eyes. He said he just never knew when to be tough and when to be soft. I can identify.
Ala-non teaches detachment with love. This has to be the most difficult thing a human can do. We are asked to watch people we care about make self destructive choices putting themselves in harms way while we sit on our hands. Yet that is exactly what is asked of us.
As soon as I put myself between the alcoholic and the consequences of his thinking and actions, I am trying to do God's job. The best thing I can do is let the person know I am available to help if and when he wants what I have. Whether anyone "gets it" or not is none of my business.