In the Chapter to the Agnostics on page 57 we read:
“What is this but a miracle of healing? Yet its elements are simple. Circumstances made him willing to believe. He humbly offered himself to his Maker-then he knew.”
This is one of my favorite passages in the Big Book. It reminds me that my recovery, my whole life really, is a miracle. It is nothing I do, but everything God does. I heard there is no in-between when it comes to believing in miracles. Either I believe everything is a miracle or I believe nothing is. Today, I choose everything.
My first miracle was when the obsession was removed from me. This happened before my first AA meeting, before getting a sponsor and taking the steps, before practicing any principles. The desire to drink magically vanished from consciousness. I had been drinking daily for thirty years. Now the thought of a drink was nowhere to be found. What the hell had happened?
Today I know this new freedom and happiness was Grace-a gift I did nothing to earn unless you count being a slave to alcohol for thirty years. This experience is the bedrock of my belief in God.
Through the years, all the miracles of the twelve promises have come true for me. Today financial fear is gone, I have no regrets about the past and I know what serenity feels like. I rely on my intuition -- that small still voice inside me -- more than ever before. Recently I have noticed I am much better I’m much better at keeping my mouth shut instead of putting my foot in it. This Is a major miracle!
I find the phrase "then he knew" to be downright mystical. Then he knew what? I know much less today than when I walked into my first meeting twenty years ago. I know that my life feels better when I’m being of service. I know there is a plan for every one of us even if I don't know what the plan is. I know that all the sickness, disease, war and poverty in our world is not the result of some cruel God punishing us for our so called “sins” but a loving God simply setting us up for a miracle.