I'm pretty sure that if I ever have to take that first drink, the last thought I'll have before I swallow is "what's the use in staying sober? My life can't get any worse." Of course it will get worse, but, by that time, I will be in so much pain that death or an institution might look like a step up.
At this point I will have severely overdrawn my sobriety bank account. My disease -- whose number one job is to convince me to drink again -- will have won.
I look at maintaining a fit spiritual condition much the same way as maintaining a fit financial condition. If I am spending more than I am making I'll go into the red. I can't stay in this position forever. Sooner or later the creditors will take away anything of value.
I deposit spiritual currency every time I practice a principle of our Program, every time I attend a meeting, every time I pray and every time I put my hand out to others. If I maintain a big fat spiritual bank account, I won't be thrown off the merry-go-round when it starts spinning out of control.
Feeling restless, irritable and discontented is a reminder that I'm drawing down on my sobriety bank account. I can't afford these feelings. It's time to get back into action.
Have a great sober week.