I have come to realize that, next to life itself, alcoholism is my greatest blessing. There is absolutely no other way I could have traveled from where I was to where I am today without having a disease that was going to kill me without spiritual treatment. My alcoholism turned out to be my e-ticket out of bondage of self into a life of beauty and meaning.
I don't know who or what God is, but I do know that I was changed in a profound way at the very beginning of my journey in recovery and that I've continued to be changed -- sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly-- throughout my time in Alcoholics Anonymous. I know from the core of my being my spiritual growth is nothing I did and everything God did.
The first blessing I received happened before my first meeting, before I got a sponsor and before I worked any steps. The compulsion to drink was completely lifted out of me. I haven't seriously thought about a drink for almost 28 years now. Perhaps the next most important blessings were the courage to ask for help and the willingness to do what was suggested. Meetings, steps, and service became my Life plan and they remain so today.
The blessings never stopped. Today I spend very little time in fear, anger, or guilt. Like our book says, I enjoy a new freedom and a new happiness. I am no longer baffled when a painful situation arises. Today when I lose my peace I know it is because I carry a remnant of alcoholic thinking. I am trying to impose my self-centered version of reality on life instead of accepting Life exactly as it is. Today, more than ever, I am blessed to realize that life is perfect just the way it is and that every one of my life experiences was intended to help me grow and change. So why would I have any regrets?
I've experienced great joy in my journey to wholeness. Blessed beyond words to have had so many wonderful, sober traveling companions, I owe my very life to all of those I've met along the way, especially those who have reached out their hand to me and those who invited me into their lives as a friend and sponsor.
I am so grateful to be alcoholic and to have been graced with all the blessings I experienced in Alcoholics Anonymous.