My father was right at the top of my resentment list when I shared my first fifth step with my sponsor. He was a cold, critical alcoholic and I could not forgive him for the way he treated me. My sponsor asked "can you see that he did the best he could?" "No," I said. "Well can you see that he did what he did?" Huh? Of course I could see that he did what he did but how did that help me? It gave me a choice. The reality was he did what he did. I had a choice to accept reality or argue with it and continue to play the victim. I'm coming to believe that every time I argue with reality I lose. I don't have to like reality, I only have to accept it.
one who believes nothing happens in God's world by accident. Somehow,
every experience, even the painful ones (perhaps especially the painful
ones) are meant for my highest and best good. I can either choose to
accept these experiences and do the best I can or I can resist and
struggle. Every time I am unwilling to accept a person or condition in
my life I set myself in opposition to reality. In essence I am rejecting
God's will. If I am running my life in opposition to God, it is
impossible to have anything but a life of struggle and suffering.
I learned from suffering for most of my life. Now I want to learn what joy has to teach me.