Resisting Life's Lessons

Like is says in Step Two, I’m coming to believe that, as long as I’m willing, the the universe pulls me towards spiritual wholeness. It provides non-stop lessons that point me away from self-centeredness towards truth, towards peace, towards love and tolerance. If I resist the lessons, the universe, in all it's benevolence, keeps ratcheting up the pain. The pain turns into chronic suffering. I drank against this suffering for thirty years until a moment of clarity led me to Alcoholics Anonymous.

I was chained to the belief that success in the world was all I needed to live happily ever after. Success was my north star. I believed that as soon as I had the world’s approval, as soon as I had enough money, power and prestige, then I could rest. I spent my life getting close, but never arriving. The silver chalice was always just out of my grasp. I watched my alcoholic father take this painful journey, but somehow it would be different for me. Such is the power of illusion.

Finally, the pain of resisting spirit’s pull towards sanity became too great to ignore. Something inside of me said “uncle” and I reached out for help. AA was there with the road map for the journey and a whole bunch of friendly traveling companions.