When the you-know-what is hitting the fan I repeat the Serenity prayer like a mantra. I am no longer trying to change God's mind, I'm am trying to change my mind. I don't know how it works, I only know that it does. When I remember I'm not here to judge, compare and control, but only to accept people, events and circumstances exactly as they are, I open a tiny door to peace. When I fail to accept life on life's terms, I am arguing with reality. I've learned the hard way that every time I argue with reality, I lose.

In the face of certain failure to effect any meaningful change in myself, I need courage not to give up, roll over and go back to sleep. Oh I might be able to change my behaviors for a little while, but, like the good doctor said in his opinion, something more than human power is required for any kind of permanent change. So about the only thing I can change is to hold on no matter how much it hurts, keep coming back and do what is suggested.

I'm coming to believe that wisdom has very little to do with ideas in my head. Along with spiritual qualities like strength, courage and serenity, Wisdom arises from my innermost being as my attitude and outlook change. Wisdom can't arise if I think I know what's best. As I continue to recover and let go, more and more the power of the universe guides me peacefully though life.