I drank against the anger, the anxiety, the guilt and shame, and against the dark secrets that were going to my grave with me. I stuffed a life time of fear into the psychic cesspool hidden deep within my subconscious. This toxic cesspool spawned faulty beliefs, “old ideas,” that motivated my thoughts, words and deeds, making a life of peace, beauty and freedom impossible. The steps ask me to clean out my cesspool one bucket at a time.
I hold my nose, but can’t help getting a good whiff of myself in steps four and five. In step six I begin to see the weeds of my character defects growing up from the cesspool. I try pulling off the tops but the weeds grow back. After a persistent effort in step seven I discover the old idea at the root of the defect. I allow HP to change my mind, to re-mind me, and the character defect falls away effortlessly.
Steps eight and nine - getting right with the world and the people in it -- provide the greatest opportunity to bucket out my cesspool. I am no longer “Mr. Wonderful” who can do no wrong. I am a fallible human being who makes mistakes. I become teachable, willing to learn how to live in peace and harmony with others. It’s easy to understand why Bill put the promises after step nine.
Step ten helps me continue to spot faulty beliefs and resist falling backwards into old energy habits, dumping new crap into my cesspool. It asks me to compare my life with a perfect ideal and to take corrective action. When I practice step ten I demonstrate my willingness to grow along spiritual lines -- the whole point.
I’m not sure if it is possible to clean out my psychic cesspool completely and exorcize the demons that still live there. I’m not a saint. But I do know that the bucket work I’ve done so far has been well worth the effort