Power of Choice
I went from "liking to drink" to "wanting to drink" to "needing to drink." It was that last shift where I lost the power of choice. By then my alcoholic life seemed normal to me. I had developed a core belief that if I was feeling "bad" alcohol could fix me. If I was feeling "good" alcohol could make the feelings better.
Today I don't need a drink because the obsession to drink was removed from me. I've been able to keep it from coming back thanks entirely to my Higher Power who speaks to me primarily through taking the actions suggested in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
An honest inventory reveals many areas of my life where I do not yet have the power of choice. I sill get impatient when delayed, defensive when criticized, and angry when treated inconsiderately. I still try to figure out most everything with my mind instead of turning within for guidance. In these and other areas my reactions are habitual and automatic.
It's my experience that getting down to the "causes and conditions" of this ego noise is a slow, never ending process. Step 10 helps me become aware of my reactions to the people and situations in my life. It's only in this awareness that I can regain the power of choice.