Practicing the Principles

I'm pretty sure I was an alcoholic long before I had that first drink. I remember feeling anxious and discontented as a kid I always wanted to be doing something other than what I was doing. Especially if what I was doing was practicing the piano. I hated to practice. It felt like punishment to me. I wanted to be outside playing with all the other kids, or watching TV or doing absolutely anything other than sitting at that piano practicing.

I learned a little bit about music from all the lessons my mom made me take. About notes and chords and middle "C" and I can remember some of that stuff today. but I can't play a song because I didn't practice.

When it says that we're suppose to "practice these principles in all our affairs" I first gotta learn what the principles are and then practice them. Just memorizing and "parroting" what it says in the Big Book about rigorous honesty, surrender, love, tolerance and forgiveness is not gonna get me a life that's a beautiful melody. I must actually practice these principles over and over until they become natural to me.

Trouble is sometimes I forget to practice. Instead I revert back to my old fear based reactions to the people and situations in my life. Then I begin to wonder why I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. If I forget to practice for long periods I slide back into self will and it won't be long until the Universe presents me with a lesson that stings. Not to punish me, just to remind me that I've forgotten to practice.