I begin the forgiveness process in Step Eight. As long as I am unwilling to forgive, I block my HP out of my life. The light goes out. Then I’m back to running on Jeff power fueled by the energy of my anger. My mind whirs in a constant state of condemnation. I send out the vicious attack dogs to find more evidence of your guilt. They return and obediently drop it at my feet. Now I have new bones to chew on. I’m drinking the rat poison waiting for the rat to die. True happiness is impossible. Man o’ man, I just don’t want to live this way anymore.
I don’t practice forgiveness because I’m a good guy. I practice because I don’t want to suffer. It is forgiveness of self and others that wipes away the anger. This doesn't mean I condone what you did, it’s just I choose to forgive you for it. Sometimes it takes a while to get to the place of forgiveness, but I notice that the amount of time I’m willing to sit in my own crap is less and less as the years roll by.
Through the years I’ve tried everything suggested. I’ve tried to see the other person as spiritually sick, I’ve prayed, I’ve written steps. I try to remember when I point my finger of condemnation at someone, I’ve got three fingers pointing back at me. When I realize that I have done the very same things to others that you have done to me, forgiveness comes easy...well, easier. Forgiveness is the E-ticket to my own peace of mind.