In AA I heard that grace is an undeserved gift. I didn't earn this gift or have to make any promises to receive it. It is given to me freely with no strings or conditions.

Grace is what I received when I had my moment of clarity. For pretty much the whole year before I had been wallowing in full blown alcoholism. Most days you could find me sitting alone in my dirty bathrobe with my bottle of wine, bag of pot and over flowing ash tray watching reruns of lame TV programs. I was full of fear but I was living in the delusion that as soon as I got a new job and a new girlfriend everything would be just fine. I was incrusted in denial. Then grace happened.

Grace came in the form of a vision of myself as I really was: A forty seven year old immature alcoholic and pot head without a clue about how life really worked. And I believe it was grace that led me to AA and it was grace that gave me that pink cloud experience and the sense of eagerness about the program.

I don't really know why I was chosen to received these gifts. But I do know that these kinds of gifts must come from a God who loves me unconditionally and probably His only request is that I pass it on as best I can.

No comments: