I learned something very recently that has helped me a lot -- If I feel angry, be angry. Let the anger out. Stuffing it down allows it to grow inside me like a seed. We weren't allowed to be angry in my house when I was growing up so I stuffed it down. Years later when it finally started erupting it was rage that felt like a volcano that I couldn't control and seemed to have no end.
Of course the catch is: if I get angry and say and do things that hurt other people or myself, I have to be willing to deal with the consequences. Since I no long have any guilt about getting angry, I find myself becoming angry less often.
The idea of seeing through appearances is a powerful tool when dealing with resentments. The book says I am to realize that the people who wrong me are "spiritually sick." Today, as I look back with more gentle eyes at the major
resentments: my father, the bully that beat me up in high school, my first Chinese boss, and a few others, I can see in each of them the fear that caused them to behave as they did. When I identify with the fear, I find equality with these people, it's easier to forgive and the resentment goes away.
I'm coming to believe that all the evil doers in the are world spiritually sick. They are driven to do the things they do because they are afraid or ignorant. When I remember this and can forgive, I have peace. When I forget and judge and resent, I lose my peace. I wonder why I forget so often?