We have a couple of guys who always show up late for the meetings – often arriving when the meeting is halfway over. They seem oblivious to the disruption they cause. Invariably I start to judge these habitual latecomers. “How can this guy be so disrespectful? Doesn’t he know AA is my church and church starts on time?” It doesn’t take long before I begin to wish that I was king of AA so I could give the order “off with his head!” And just at that moment my conscious contact is broken.
As soon as I judge, especially when it’s an angry judgment, I block my spiritual channel. When I block out God, I stop carrying a spiritual message and begin to carry an ego message, “My way or the highway!” Not only is my connection with God broken, but my connection with the fellowship as well. I can’t be a channel for spirit when I am sitting in judgment of another.
I forget that nothing happens in God’s world by accident. It’s awfully hard for me to figure out why these folks continuously arrive late, but there are lots of things I can’t figure out. The point is they are arriving late. That’s the reality. I’m learning that every time I argue with reality, I lose. Do I want to experience peace or upset?
I like the idea that everyone is in exactly the right place at every moment for their spiritual unfolding. It makes absolutely no difference to the universe whether we heading toward the light or moving away from it. It’s all grace. Somehow these latecomers are supposed to arrive late. Perhaps just so I can learn to stop reacting so negatively when they do.
I “create the fellowship I crave” by being an example of useful and contented sobriety, by maintaining my serenity despite the storms that swirl in my life, and by holding out my hand to everyone equally, even the late comers.