The change I notice most in myself is my increasing sensitivity to pain. Today I can't live very long with resentment, fear, impatience and the like. It's not worth it to me. The easier softer way is using the tools of the program to look at the causes and conditions underneath the upset, to discover my part and to make amends if necessary.

I have a theory that alcoholics develop a tolerance to emotional pain. I know I did. I lived so long with fear and anxiety it became normal for me. Back then minor upsets didn't even register. It took a volcanic explosion of anger to get my attention.

While I was drinking, I really didn't know what peace was, or real happiness either. It wasn't until I came to Alcoholics Anonymous and began to strip away my old ideas and beliefs that I got my first taste of life on life's terms. I have also come to realize that every bit of suffering I experience today is self-inflicted. Every time I point my finger at you there are three fingers pointing back at me.