Spiritual Awakening

I have no idea whether or not I will ever take another drink. I haven't had a drink for a while but I still have a disease that wants to kill me; therefore I'm never completely immune from picking up.

I remember reading an article about relapse written by Dr. Tiebold. The good Dr. said that those people who go back to drinking before they've had a spiritual awakening have not had a slip or relapse. They have simply gone back to drinking. He uses the example of a person who suffers a heart attack. The doctor tells the patient to get some exercise, eat more healthy foods, and not get as stressed out. For a while the patient follows this advice. After a few months, he starts to feel better and begins to slack off on his diet; can't seem to find the time to exercise and is more stressed out than ever. It doesn't take long until the patient goes back to his old ways completely. Is it any surprise he has a second heart attack?

In my experience it's just the same with us alcoholics. Without a spiritual awakening I don't have any real power in my life. I don't have the power to make good choices, the power to do right thing, or the power to resist that first drink. Sooner or later I must go back to my old ways. In fact, if I don't eventually pick up a drink, maybe I wasn't really an alcoholic to begin with.

Even if I work all the steps and spirit wakes up, I'm not immune to drinking again. Unless I continue to grow and change, spirit can easily roll over and fall back asleep. After Spirit opens its eyes, it has to want to get out of bed, wash its face and brush its teeth. Only when spirit is wide awake and on its feet is spirit ready to face the day as me--a sober alcoholic.