One of the by-products of getting sober is that my thinking improved. As the fog cleared I began to see the folly of doing the same things over and over again expecting different results. Today I can sometimes actually catch myself before I say or do something stupid. Not often, but sometimes.
When Bill channeled the Big Book and wrote “restored to sanity” in Step Two, he meant much more that just clear thinking. I believe he meant that I will come to believe I am being restored to my spiritual condition -- just the way I was when I first left the home office, one or many lifetimes ago as the case may be.
God, as I understand God, doesn’t care if I am crazy or sane or whether I’m a saint or a sinner. He is definitely not impressed with my my mind or my intellect. What God seems to care about is that I am free -- free of the chains that bind me to self. Free like the birds and the flowers just as He created me to be. As I am nudged ever closer to God’s sanity, I move into harmony with what is. I experience peace, abundance and freedom. As I continue to experience life in this way, my faith grows.
As it says in “How it Works,” I move closer to God’s sanity by seeking. I seek God by taking the actions prescribed in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. There are countless other ways to seek God, but this is the way that works for me.
It really boils down to how I choose to spend my time. At the treatment center they told me if I wanted to recover, I had to spend as much time taking recovery actions as I did drinking each day. I drank for an average of six hours everyday. Going to two meetings a day, hanging out before and after the meetings, calling my sponsor and other alcoholics, reading the literature and spending quiet time alone equals about six hours. I did this for the better part of a year. I believe it was that this early foundation saw me through some pretty tough times.
Maybe I don't need 6 hours of AA activities everyday anymore, but 6 minutes in the morning just doesn’t cut it. As I look forward to the coming year, I ask myself just how great is my desire to get to know God better? What actions am I willing to take? How much time will I commit? My honest responses to these questions are important. If I’m not careful my sobriety might end up just like all those unfulfilled resolutions I made last year at this time.